November 23rd.

I said I'd never forget your face
Vaulted away inside my head
And memories never seem to fade
You were the best part of my life, my last regret.
Memories Fade Like Photographs - All Time Low
Sorta the song of the day, but it's not going away either.

A year ago was the happiest day of my life.
It feels like so much has changed, and so much has happened, but some things are still concrete.
I wonder if I'm the only one thinking about it. I don't which is scarier, that I am or I might not be.

"You is nosing, you is!"

I ask a lot of questions. Sometimes they can be rude, or sound demanding, or about things that are really none of my business. This definitely makes me sound nosy, and I sort of am, but not for usual reasons. I don't take private things people tell me and spread them around. I don't hold thoughts friends tell me in their moments of vulnerability and use them as a weapon. I keep secrets that aren't mine to tell. It's always fun to know gossip, but I don't dig and pry to get all up in grills. I ask because I want to understand. There's mysteries in everyone; stuff to complex for them to even know yet. I want to unravel these. I always want to know what's going on in the head in front of me, why they do what they, what they're thinking. My level of interest varies depending who it is, but it's almost always there. I don't have horrible ulterior motives when I ask questions about people's lives, I just want to try to piece things together in my own head. So if anyone I know ever reads this, I'm sorry for sounding rude. It's all in my quest for knowledge.

Gravity

Gravity is working against me,
and gravity wants to bring me down.

The day's song.

I feel like there's so many responsibilities sometimes, and none the next. The determination to clean and do homework and plan for my future flares like a spark one minute, and is out like the proverbial light the next. I feel like I take on so much, and don't up doing it, or just not seeing the fruits of my labour. Sometimes I feel a masochistic pride in thinking that I'm running myself into the ground; I take on things because when a challenge is offered to me, I can't say no. I know I can't always be the best, but I need to be good. I want to be the one that can do it all, the one people go to and can rely on. Do I have a need to prove myself? Maybe. But not to anyone else, only to me.